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Guiseppi's Bodyguard Corner

Yo everyone! My name is Guiseppi and this is my page. If you didn't already know, among other things I am the official Wicked Scholar bodyguard. I'm using this page to share some of my adventures and useful self defence information with all of you.

Some of these stories will make you laugh and some may even make you cry. Hopefully, they will make you think. Just click on a link to read the full story.


War is Hell

The subject of this column is the horror of war and people who believe in aliens. I had a little visit with my former commanding officer in West Africa and the visit put me in a sentimental mood. War is hell, but it can also be a lot of fun. I was 12 years old when I arrived in Africa in a shipping crate lashed to the deck of a Croatian freighter (mom and dad claimed it was a play fort for me). I got off that boat and the next thing I know, some cock sucker is trying to rob me or rape me or something. He was speaking some weird language so I'm not sure exactly what he wanted so just to be on the safe side, I smacked him over the head with a piece of 2x4 and took his wallet. Read the full story....

How Not to Get Buggered

Today I want to tell you about how you can prevent getting buggered.

Did you know that a long time ago British sailors used to grow these long sideburns called bugger handles?  They was called bugger handles because when one guy was given it to another guy up the ass, he could grab onto the bugger handles for more leverage. Read the full story....

Never Underestimate Your Opponent

The topic of this particular article is "Don't Ever Underestimate Your Opponent," a mistake a lot of people make when they get into a physical confrontation. To prove the truth of this, I'm going to tell you about something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Read the full story....

Fun With a Big Flashlight

Over the past couple of weeks, a lot of people have been writing to me asking "hey, Guiseppi, what can I do to defend myself in my own home if some little piece of shit breaks in?" Read the full story....

Don't Mess With Guys on Scooters

Find out what happens when some idiot throws something at Guiseppi while he's out riding his scooter! Full Story....

Defend Yourself Against an Alien Attack!

Simple techniques for defending yourself against an attack by aliens! Full Story....

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