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Study Reveals 98% of People in the World are Incredibly Stupid

A new paper published in the Journal of the Finnish Institute of Science reveals that 98% of people are extremely stupid. The paper’s author, Dr. Jiri Salmomalli says that if it wasn’t for the 2% of the world’s population that is intelligent, inventive, and industrious, we would all be cowering in caves, worshipping natural phenomena.

For evidence Dr. Salmomalli says “just look at all of the idiots around you. You constantly see them walking down the street, driving around in cars, on the news. Money or position is not an indication of intelligence. Look at people like Donald Trump or Charlton Heston. Morons! Some morons have even gone on to become the President of the United States. Fortunately for the rest of us there are about 80 million people in the world today who are intelligent and are doing great things that improve the quality of life for everyone else.”

Dr. Salmomalli says that one of the clearest indications of national intelligence is prime time television. “Look at the most popular shows on American television. They are written by morons for morons. The more idiotic the show, the higher the ratings and the longer it stays on the air. Meanwhile, networks that try to show educational programming aimed at thinking people constantly struggle to find enough revenue to stay alive.” When asked for a list of the 10 people who have most contributed to the betterment of the human condition and enlightenment, Dr. Salmomalli offered these candidates:

Gene Roddenberry
Jesus Christ
Louis Pasteur
Frederick Banting
Guttenburg (not Steve, the other one)
John F. Kennedy
Ludwig von Beethoven
Albert Einstein
Mahatma Ghandi

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